How to choose your tribe: the importance of intentional relationships

Have you ever heard the phrase, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? It’s a pretty popular saying, and it’s been around for a while. But have you ever stopped to think about what it actually means? Let’s break it down.

First of all, who are the five people you spend the most time with? Think about it. It’s probably your family members, your coworkers, your best friends, or maybe even your pets (hey, they count as people, right?). Whoever they are, they’re the ones who have the biggest impact on your life.

Now, let’s think about what it means to be the average of these people. Does that mean if you spend a lot of time with lazy, unmotivated people, you’re destined to become lazy and unmotivated too? Or if you spend a lot of time with successful, driven people, you’re destined for success? Well, not exactly.

It’s more about the influence these people have on you. If you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, chances are you’ll feel more positive and uplifted yourself. If you surround yourself with negative, pessimistic people, you’ll likely start to feel more negative and pessimistic too. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it’s definitely something to consider.

Let me give you an example. I have a friend named Larisa. Larisa is one of the most positive, cheerful people I know. She’s always smiling, always laughing, and always looking on the bright side of things. Whenever I spend time with her, I feel happier and more optimistic. On the other hand, I have another friend named Silas. Silas is…well, let’s just say he’s not exactly a ray of sunshine. He’s always complaining, always finding fault with everything, and always looking on the dark side of things. Whenever I spend time with him, I feel drained and pessimistic.

Now, I’m not saying that Silas is a bad person, or that I don’t enjoy spending time with him at all. But I do notice a difference in how I feel when I’m around him versus how I feel when I’m around Larisa. And that’s the thing about the people we surround ourselves with - they have an impact on us, whether we realize it or not.

So, what can we do with this information? Well, first of all, it’s important to be aware of the people we’re spending time with, and how they’re affecting us. If we notice that we’re feeling down or negative after spending time with certain people, maybe it’s time to reevaluate that relationship. On the other hand, if we notice that we’re feeling more positive and motivated after spending time with others, maybe we should try to spend more time with them.

It’s not about cutting people out of our lives completely - after all, everyone has their own struggles and challenges. But it is about being intentional with the people we surround ourselves with, and recognizing the impact they have on us.

So remember, you really are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to become just like them. It’s more about being aware of the influence they have on you, and making conscious choices about who you want to surround yourself with. And hey, maybe you’ll even start to rub off on them too - in a good way, of course.